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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29668482">I Think, Perhaps, If It Helps, It Was, Er, Rather Inevitable</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLastKnownSurvivor/pseuds/TheLastKnownSurvivor'>TheLastKnownSurvivor</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Red White &amp; Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alex Claremont-Diaz is a little shit, Canon Compliant, Canon Rewrite, Comedy, Gen, Humor, M/M, One Shot, Some angst, but we love him, except we get henrys terrified inner monologue, henrys pov, its literally just zahra discovering henry and alex in the hotel room, so all the same things, some mentions of anxiety</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 23:34:59</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,478</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29668482</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLastKnownSurvivor/pseuds/TheLastKnownSurvivor</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"Oh my God, did <em>I</em> do this? I never thought... when I set it up... oh my <em>God.</em>"<br/>"I think, perhaps, if it helps. It was. Er. Rather inevitable. At least for me. So you shouldn't blame yourself."</p><p>AKA the time Henry came literally tumbling out of the closet, as told by HRH Prince Henry of Wales himself</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alex Claremont-Diaz/Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>178</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I Think, Perhaps, If It Helps, It Was, Er, Rather Inevitable</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A loud noise makes Henry stir. He’s unsure of its source, still half-asleep. He presses closer to Alex, letting his mind return to the blissful darkness of sleep. But then Alex moves, much to Henry’s chagrin. Why is Alex determined to be up this early in the morning?</p><p>“Oh fuck me,” comes Alex’s voice, accompanied not much later by a loud thump on the floor.</p><p>Henry just groans, still in a sleepy state of confusion. He wonders if Alex is late to a meeting. Good lord, it’s early for a meeting. Well, he doesn’t have anywhere to be, so he’ll sleep for maybe an hour or two more.</p><p>“Fucking shit!” More noise. It sounds frantic. “Goddamnit ass fucker.”</p><p>“What?” says Henry, eyes now open and staring at the ceiling.</p><p>“I can hear you in there, Alex, I swear to God-”</p><p>Henry feels his heart stop at the voice at the door. It’s Zahra. And she sounds pissed off. She kicks the door, and Henry flies out of bed. He looks at Alex in a bewildered panic, but Alex is too busy fumbling with his trousers. Henry’s eyes dart around the room nervously, looking for a hiding place. The curtains? Could they work? Maybe if he- no, no that will not do. <em> Think, Henry, think. </em></p><p>“Jesus tits,” Alex exclaims, still working at dressing. Henry watches as he grabs a shirt and boxers from the floor and shoves them at him. The boxers, Henry notes, are Alex’s. But Alex is oblivious as he points Henry at the direction behind him. “Get in there.”</p><p>Henry follows his finger and a bark of laughter nearly escapes him. It’s the closet. Even with Zahra in the hall, he can’t resist making a smart remark.</p><p>“Quite-” he begins.</p><p>“Yes, we can unpack the ironic symbolism later,” Alex says flatly, clearly not having it. <em> “Go.” </em></p><p>So Henry does. </p><p>The cupboard is dark and cramped and certainly not built for a six-foot man. Henry hears Zahra come into the room, and it’s silent for a few moments except for her footsteps. He knocks into a couple of hangers and feels his heart stop as he tries to muffle their sound. Luckily, it seems that Zahra doesn’t hear anything because she’s too busy interrogating Alex. Henry can just make out their conversation.</p><p>“Who is she?” Zahra demands. “You let her bring a <em> phone </em> in here?”</p><p>Henry cringes as he hears her footsteps drawing closer, searching for a non-existent girl. He shrinks back further into the closet, hunching his shoulders to fit into the back corner. He hopes that if Zahra thinks to check inside, she only gives it a quick, cursory look. </p><p>He squeezes his eyes shut, praying that she gives up and leaves soon. Christ, how could they have been so daft as to leave such obvious evidence of another person in the hotel room?</p><p>“Nobody, <em> Jesus </em>,” Alex is saying, but the voice crack that cuts through his words completely undermines their meaning. </p><p>If not for the immediate danger of being found out, Henry would be impressed by Zahra’s ability to break Alex’s composure. Alex never had issues handling pressure, nor vaguely threatening questioning, which Henry always found rather remarkable. Whilst he certainly wouldn’t volunteer any information, anyone would be able to tell Henry was guilty. </p><p>“What?” Alex continues. “I got kinda drunk last night, that’s all. It’s chill.”</p><p>As the conversation continues, Henry realises dressing is probably the next priority. Being caught naked would only serve to implicate them further. He gingerly feels the boxers in his hands, trying to identify the front and back sides so he can step into them correctly. He hears Alex and Zahra are still talking, so Henry figures he can risk a little noise.</p><p>“Yes, it is so very, very chill that you’re going to be hungover for today.”</p><p>One leg successfully through. Now just the other.</p><p>“I’m fine. It’s fine.” </p><p>Everything is going well until Henry’s foot catches the side of the cloth. To his horror, he feels himself losing his balance. He hops a little, trying to make up for it, but bumps into the wall with a thump. Worse yet, that’s not enough to break his fall. Since the closet is small, his momentum sends him a different wall and then into the door. He feels the flimsy sliding door give way to his weight.</p><p>And he comes tumbling out of the closet. </p><p>He lands flat on his back, right at Zahra’s feet. His cheeks color and all he can manage is. “Er-” then remembers he is practically naked and finishes pulling up Alex’s boxers. He blinks up in the bright light and offers, “Hello.”</p><p>Henry has never heard a louder silence in his life.</p><p>“I-” Zahra begins. “Do I even want you to explain to me what the fuck is happening here? Literally how is he even <em> here </em> , like, physically or geographically and <em> why </em>- no, nope. Don’t answer that. Don’t tell me anything.”</p><p>As Zahra has a long swig of coffee, Henry numbly sits up and reaches over to grab his shirt from the floor. He can feel that the heat has crept all the way up to his ears by the time he’s fully dressed. </p><p>“Oh my God, did <em> I </em> do this? I never thought… when I set it up… oh my <em> God. </em>”</p><p>Henry is standing now. He meekly cuts in, “I think, perhaps, if it helps, it was- er- rather inevitable. At least for me. So you shouldn’t blame yourself.”</p><p>Zahra looks at him for a long moment, then jabs a pointy nail into Alex’s shoulder and addresses him instead. Henry is more than a little relieved to no longer be the centre of attention.</p><p>“Well, I hope it was <em> fun </em> ,” she says, “because if anyone ever finds out about this, we’re all fucked.” Then she points to Henry and he feels anxiety seize up in his chest once more. “You too. Can I <em> assume </em> I don't have to make you sign an NDA?”</p><p>Henry nods faintly, unable to speak. Alex, however, suffers from no such problem.</p><p>“I’ve already signed one for him,” he adds. Henry cannot believe his sense of self-preservation is so nonexistent. Although, even the threat of mortality seemed insignficant to Alex’s mouth, so perhaps the situation doesn't warrant Henry’s astonishment. “I think that covers it.”</p><p>“Oh, wonderful, I'm so glad you thought this through. Great. How long has this been happening?”</p><p>Alex glances at Henry, still the only one with a working mouth between the two of them. “Since, um, New Year’s.”</p><p><em> “New Year’s? </em> This has been going on for <em> seven months </em>? That’s why you- Oh my god, I thought you were getting into international relations or something.”</p><p>“I mean, technically-”</p><p>“If you finish that sentence, I’m going to spend tonight in jail.”</p><p>No longer an active participant in the conversation, Henry numbly sits down at the bed. Alex and Zahra’s voices blur into background noise because all Henry can think about is how much of a fool he was to think coming here was a good idea. He had been too blinded by the need to see Alex again that he abandoned all common sense. The dread in his stomach quickly turned nausea, making the room spin. The negative thoughts begin to creep in next, sending him down a slow descent into the insanity of if statements. If only he had just gone back to England. If only he had set an alarm this morning. If only he'd brought his mobile phone and shoes. If only he'd stayed hidden in the closet. If only-</p><p>He manages to return to reality just as Zahra addresses him once more. “And <em> you- </em>” she says, intimidating and massively angry, “you need to get back to fucking England now, and if anyone sees you leave, I will personally end you. Ask me if I'm afraid of the crown.” </p><p>She glares at him extra hard for good measure, though Henry needs no extra persuasion to listen. He barely manages two words to appease her. “Duly noted.” </p><p>Her glare intensifies, something Henry hadn’t realised was possible, for a long moment. Henry shrinks into himself, feeling not unlike when his grandmother or Phillip have sent a disapproving frown his way. The two of them, and Zahra apparently, too, are talented at making him feel small. </p><p>Finally, Zahra seems satisfied with her intimidation tactics, pivots, and storms out of the room. The slam of the door makes Henry flinch. He looks at Alex who is glaring at his phone like it’s responsible for the whole affair. It’s incomprehensible to Henry that he can’t see how much is falling apart around them. Henry’s brain is returning to the if-onlys of earlier, the lump of anxiety, regret, and fear in his gut threatening to spill over. </p><p>How had something so perfect ended up in shambles in a single instant?</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for reading! I love this scene in the book so much, and I thought it'd be interesting to tell it from Henry's perspective. Hope you had as much fun reading it as I did writing it~</p><p>Find me on <a href="https://twitter.com/xtlksurvivorx">Twitter</a> or <a href="https://xthelastknownsurvivorx.tumblr.com/">Tumblr</a>. I'm always down to discuss hcs or just scream about rwrb</p></blockquote></div></div>
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